Psalm 139: 11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will overwhelm me,
And the light around me will be night,"
12 Even the darkness is not dark to You,
And the night is as bright as the day
Darkness and light are alike to You.
My darkest hour was revealed to me during a time when I needed to see the light of day the most. It was like a dream - surreal; however, at least in a dream you wake up. But in this occurrence I was wide awake. What I knew to be real was no longer real and that which I believed to be a fantasy became reality right before my eyes. I stood there, in the dark, somewhat perplexed by my predicament, bewildered and afraid of the outcome. I searched all around me, seeking out the familiar, but my search was to no avail. And so, in my state of ambivalence, I began to question my very existence. It was not that I no longer desired to live. Instead, I began to ponder upon the meaning of life and what was in store for me. What was "truly" my purpose? Why am I here? And so, as I plunged deeper and deeper into my abyss - my endless feelings of emptiness, hurt, and uncertainty, the more I realized that I was all alone. As I fell to greater depths, my feelings quickly changed from loneliness to anger. The deeper I fell, the higher my anger rose. I looked around me but there was no one to behold: no one to hold me and tell me that everything was going to be ok; no one to guide me unto the path that I must tread; and no one to walk beside me as a companion. And when I did not know where to look anymore, I decided to look inside myself. It was there I discovered what was there all along – my inner Divinity. She reassured me that I should not be afraid and that I should trust my intuition. The Divinity in me made me realize that what I was afraid of the most was not that I was alone, rather, it was "not knowing" what awaited me on the other side of my oblivion. I sighed a sigh of relief as my anger dissipated and turned to joy – joy over that which I still “did not know.” My darkest hour would soon become day!
